What’s one positive trait you’ve gained because of BPD?
Last Updated: 27.06.2025 03:17
One women pretended to my husband she wanted to see me for coffee ,and make friends.
Where the ultimate outsiders.
As i do to all so called friends.?
Those are used to try and block the pain, like that of my life out..
The coal was sharp, and i usually had no underware! So my bare arse ,was cut and rossened on the coal..
Im kind ,and give many things, inc money ,to any of persons in need. I have a groups of homeless beggars ..i help out daily. They all know me by name!
Texas governor vetoes hemp ban bill - Politico
Why do we forgive? Because if we don,t
One was a lump hammer, another was a iron chisel.
Im constanly in a state of FLIGHT or FIGHT my whole life
Hollywood actress popular for hit ’70s shows dead at 95 - NJ.com
As i gave and gave ,everything to people, they began to use me.
My family never makes their pension either.
I of course replied” arh beautiful!
Baby saved by gene-editing therapy 'graduates' from hospital, goes home - ABC News
Yes, a stroke or heart attack is the reason on your death certificate.
I think the readers, may guess!
I only stopped writing poetry recently, because , of my brain tumor
Due to the real legacy of trauma (B.P.D)
She found it foreign!.
Trauma never leaves you! Its actually lives in the fashia ,of the body .The connective tissue.
Your thinking ,but those kids would have been street wise?
He knew the spot.
His abuse (his own) began at 2 years of age. His mothers friend, sexually abused him, from the age of 2.
Especially a lifetime of it.
You’d think that being brought up for so long, in those terrible circumsatances ,i would know the ways of people ,and the world, but i wasn,t in , nor of the world .
Took her away on holiday ,with us, my 2 pugs her dog, a Jack Russell.
Single psilocybin trip delivers two years of depression relief for cancer patients - ScienceDaily
I was grabbed out of my mother hung upside down, and rushed up to the prenatal ward, to spend 4 mths alone, with, only medical staff.
It will be my last birthday ,as im dying of a brain tumor and 8 other autoimune diseases.
He did pay me though, i made him (.After i’d trudged miles to get his pension ) Before ,it all was gone, over the pubs counter!
Top-Rated Biotech Surges On A Bullish Win In Cancer - Investor's Business Daily
The only way to get rid of it forgood ,is sommence therapy,
She died at 55 of colon cancer.
.I left my 2 sons and my husband to do it. Instead of spending the day with them
What is your review on the Last of Us Part 2?
The same beautiful brown eyes my mother loved so much!
It comes from Big T Trauma and is no fault of anyone who has it.
Ive learnt so much.
This brilliant, hidden iPhone feature lets you print anything to PDF - Boy Genius Report
I got to know the terrible awful childhood, he had himself. And his Jolly Pub Persona.
She said her life with him ,was love, and spoke to me of all the passion, it had brought her.
And i lived it daily.
Let's Weigh The Pros And Cons Of Inviting Larry David To Your Wedding - OutKick
Im dying but, im not bitter.
Then later on when my husband had gone to the bar..she started telling me, that they where having a affair, and that he loved her much more then me ,and other loads of visious lies.
We were all going out this night to a fancy resteraunt.
Why was the rock band Kiss so successful?
As she had lost her son ,to fatty liver disease!
He was a brick layer (when he worked at all) and he carried his tools around ,hanging from a money belt.
But people really die of the Big T Trauma!!
2025 NHL Draft Combine Notebook: What we learned - Daily Faceoff
I could never make a relationship work though!
Although he,d calmed down a bit ..he still shouted his orders at me and thought , my older sister would be better at the job..
I was seconnd youngest,
When he wanted one of his lessons to be taught!
I had many talking therapys , but they just don,t work.
Thats was my nicest nick name for him
For him, I cleaned and cooked and shopped, and spent the whole day, doing a weeks work) in the only day off, i had, besides Sunday.)
She loved him until the end.
Another so called friend had bit the dust..
She was deluded, and thought she could stay on for the reminder of the holiday!
Im still living with it.
I watched his eyes light up and his twisted smile rejoice, in his joy of it all.
And when you live in a life , of being terrified, and shocked, and permantly stressed; especially as a child born in to all this .
The only rule us 5 kids had .
But it has taught me many things other people will , never know!
Was to survive, this bastard.
I did it because my mum asked me too!
But im an empath, and i help lots of people.
He resisted the act ,that day.
One cannot live in the past .
With Catholic nuns and Church on Sundays.
I had offered the whole expense of the holiday to her, free.
I said to her
Rather to engertic for me ,with my terrible health, but i was left to run the house, it was a Cottage in Dorset.
I know ,a lot about trauma.
And if you hold on to hate you only die inside yourself,!
She got all dolled up, but it looked as she was dressed up to play the part of , Florence Nightingale ,as she descended down the cottage stairs ,like a Queen.
She wouldn,t have been !
When she asked me how she looked .
But ive been too sick for many years..
As is all addictions, people can’t leave off.
But there where , these other acts only us 2 girls, would receive, (When id have rather had his lump hammer , and chisel.).
I am a twin , my twin is a boy called Alan. I had a sister and 2 other brothers
I have no regrets .
Everytime, i saw a chronically ill person in middle years.
Youll pack your bags and leave Dorset.
But he said ,he was sick of her anyway ,and only put up with her as i had a friend ,and seemed to be happy.
I waited trembling.
So whats the point in blame.
What did i know ?
Thats being isolated in a house, locked up as a child .We never saw any people except in School and we had no relatives in Liverpool!
He’d bring us out ,and we would form the position .
She married twice! .
Even in the coal hole, i said the lines in my head..
I forgave my father,, and in those years i cleaned and looked after him .
Being very nice and never wanting to say the wrong thing.
He’d sit me down, and stand behind the chair, Then he’d make a great show of his beauty (the chesil )and place it behind my neck ,at the base!
Its a big thing in the States for the last 25 years.
He had many friends, who didn,t know the home devil he was, for his sake ,i never enlighted them either.
Trauma lives in the body, as ive explained, but it actually this that kills you in the end.
I will be 64.
My only sister also couldn,t make her life work.
The apprentership one gets in Extreme Big T Trauma childhood is insight and extreme awarness.
I was the most vunerable of my siblings. I was born small ,and was sickly ,and of course none of us could ever thrive!
Mine was extreme ,and lasted 19 years
He said i reminded him of an old aunt ,who used to beat him, and when the menapause came, she was placed in a mental home and never was released ,until she died.
My twin will have involuntary pissed himself, but not me at least not, that day!
Because huge Trauma like mine is alive.
And as runt ,of the litter .Which of course, i actually was!
My place (mostly )was the coal hole..it was a small room heaped with coal .
Why did i forgive my father ?
Then he’ d take out his beloved lump hammer ,show it to the kids.
All the time i was locked up.
He said i’d end up like her, and he laughed his big rolicking bear of a laugh!
And who doesn’t know suffering?
I suffer greatly, because of BPD..
My mum and dad in the seventies!
My mother wasn’t a tactile women ..only as babes could she touch us. After we grew ,she couldn,t touch any of us.
My dad was a alcholic psychopath, and violent in the extreme.
I write beautiful poetry .
He weighed in at 5 lbs .I was the second born, and i weighed 3 and a half pounds.
She was in good health!
Its mostly always from childhood abuse .
I forgave my father, and i took care of him ,until his death in 1999..my mum left us on the 29th Jan 1998.
And ive living now since 2005, on disablement .(Which is a pittance)
BPD only comes to a person who has suffered childhood trauma.
I was scared of men, in general
It was going to be , some day.
Ther’s very good reasons why i was left alone.
His mum and dad ,were Alcoholics!
But i am married 43 years to my husband this July !
And, all my friends down the years ,where users.
But it wasn’t much.
She stayed with him because she thought he,d grow out of it. He didn’t of course!
I wasn’t taught any boundries, our home ,was like any war zone , and Dad told us, he had bodies buried, under the floor boards.
I might have to go back 30 generations or more..
I never cut or harmed myself..
He was dying to do it , i knew.
Her first husband, had been a gay man ,and he was a lovely person.
I was writing from the time i was a small child.
As his daughter ,he didn’t even think I wouldn,t do it. (Look after him)
I don,t even have a pension.
My life is so biszare .
He took out the hammer, and explained again, how the smallest tap ,of this hammer would kill me in a second.
Its like, taking poison, and hoping the other person will die.
We were not on the streets..
I ended up cooking for her, and bringing her eveywhere with us.
Why ? because Trauma depletes the immune system.you get terribley ill , with chronic disease from all the horror ,and stress of it.
That life, was meant to be , as the world teaches us great lessons, and leaves us many gifts.
And i know him well ,and every thing about him. This relationship, is the only real one iIve been able to keep!
Like some twisted love , they where addicted to each other
Although we always gave her a kiss on the cheek. She would shrink away from it!
Who then, do I blame.?
I immediatly know and see what their chidhood was. I tell them you had a awful time in childhood.
Also my liver and lungs are fatally diseased!
He isn,t a very sexual person at the best of times!
They are buried together, in the same grave..
I was very sick at this time too.
I was 9 years of age.
This is how, and why children get BPD.
I had hoped to write a book about this .
She died young (from the stress and abuse of Big T Trauma) of liver cancer!
So i became my fathers slave and he hated me the most.
I did write a poem about him though, and my mum.
(And it was in our own minds.)
But, we were locked up after school.
One of his many names for me was Runt .He like that it rhymed with (well you know)
We born here on earth , for the soul to learn , the contrast, of heaven.
Would this be the day?
So, i spoilt her more .
One cannot hold on to bitterness.
Comes on , in middle age.
I only knew my twisted world , and there, is no choice for a child but to live in it. Or Die in it!
I let him have the joy of his friends( that i would never know myself.!)
She was a women, a mother with her own children!.
Do all the shopping, and cooking and look after all the dogs.
They look at me amazed ,and ask me how i could possibly know it?
Anyway ,i could never hold on to a relationship.
As i said though i will be 64 on my last birthday!
We didn’t no it wasn;t normal life..we were isolated, and taken from Dublin in Ireland ,where our whole mothers family lived , to Liverpool in England!
And as she herself ,wasn’t kissed or touched as a child.
Anyway, i told my husband ,and he was gobsmacked.
We could never speak unless he spoke to us!
But im a psyci anyway, and i read energy and people, .
So he went home with my mum to her 2 other children.
Stress hormones Adrenaline and Cortosol ,would have flooded my brain, and they never left it!!!!
You don’ t get a state one here , in England ? until your at least 67 yrs old ! Im 63.
We all went to grammer schools
He call us down, from where ever he stashed each one of us ,that day ! We were kept seperate.!
I couldn’t, believe it.
Because , i didnt have the heart to hurt my friend.!.
We wern’t close any more, the family fractured, after my Mothers death, and seeing me annoyed them ,as i was the familys scapegoat..
A line in front of him, from the eldest to the youngest.
But my sister and my other 3 brothers wouldn’t have come near him every again!
Put me off passion for life!!
Im a true spealist, because i study it for years .And i still do..
On the 31st of Jan this month .
5 of us kids, and it wasn’t a big house.
But i went to school ,and was locked up evey evening , until he was off out on a bender..then mum would set us free, and we,d be bouncing off the walls,
My familys so full of ancestral BIG T Trauma.
And don,t forget my 4 months alone, in the incubator. Knowing my brother in the womb and my mother voice .The baby knows she’s alone!
I do have abandomment issues but they come from being left alone ,without my mum, or any of my family in a incubator for 4 months.
19 years ,i spent with dear old papa.
Insight, and i can spot a wrongin from 3 miles away.
This is soul school!.
At this time i had honed my heart to the same, as that of a lion and i knew i wouldn’t beg or cry ,nor plead.
But im dying ,and its too late for me.
I worked then as a chef ,and a very good one.